


Savin Me

by Labstell



Category: Castiel - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Gen, No Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 22:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14820269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Labstell/pseuds/Labstell
Summary: Castiel is alone and searching for his Father.  As he thinks about this enormous task he has taken on, he laments on the mistakes he feels he has made; his doubts of himself, and whether he will be able to succeed.  Tho he doesn't realize it, he is lonely, tired and depressed.  Who can he call to help cheer his up?





	Savin Me

SAVIN’ ME

 

Castiel sat alone in the dingy hotel room. He didn’t need to sleep, but he had learned that it was better to be locked up in this small room than roaming aimlessly throughout the night. At least that was the way he felt tonight. 

He had been on his own for what seemed like a very long time, tho it had only been a few weeks. He had taken on the task of finding his father, of finding God, in the hopes that he could convince him to return to Heaven. There was chaos among the angels. You would think the Arc-Angels would have taken over once Father left, but some of them had left as well. The remaining ones seemed uncaring. The angels were fighting amongst themselves, forming factions, with each faction fighting for power.  
Castiel blamed himself and cursed his short comings. He tried to fix Heaven. He fostered a rebellion of Heaven, thinking to take it over and rule it himself. He feels that he has failed in everything he has tried to do to save humanity. 

Castiel looks down at the amulet that he got from Dean. He knows it is special, even if Dean did make fun of him. 

Dean. He misses Dean. He misses talking to him; working with him, watching him. He misses just being in Dean’s presence. He’s terrified of these four walls, that seem to trap his soul inside. He misses being able to track Dean with his powers. Ever since he etched the Enochian sigils into Dean and Sam’s ribs, he is cut off from them. He wonders where Dean is, and what he is doing. He hopes the Dean is safe. He has given so much of himself for the Winchesters. Heavens gates wont open up for for him after all he has done. His wings are broken, and he is a fallen angel. 

Castiel clenches his fits and stands up abruptly. He can’t stand being in this room another minute. He goes out into the night, walking the city streets alone. As he walks he thinks that these city walls have no love for him. He looks up at the tall skyscraper, and thinks he feels like he is on the ledge of the 18th story, looking down and he can’t come up with a single reason not to die.

But he knows there is one person that loves him. He knows there is one person who will always come when he calls. Even if Dean can’t yet admit it to himself, Cas knows that Dean loves him. He has tried to be strong. He has tried to right the wrongs, to correct the mistakes he has made. It is his job: if the other angels will not try, then he will do it himself. 

But the fight is taking so long. There has been so much pain. He has made so very many mistakes. Mostly he can forgive himself. Mostly he can tell himself that he will succeed. But tonight is not one of those times. Tonight he doesn’t see a happy future. Tonight he has no hope. Tonight all he needs is Dean Winchester.

He stops in front of a closed shop, the night time lights of the shop cast a soft glow over his face. He pulls out his cell phone, and punches a few buttons. A sleepy voice answers.

“Cas?”

“Dean. Come please, I’m calling. Tell me if its worth saving this world. Is it worth saving me? All I need is you. Please come.”

“Tell me where you are. I’ll come.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Savin Me" by Nickelback


End file.
